Messed up
by Namicchi
Summary: It wasn't suppose to look like this but they can't stop and it hurts but it's so good.


**Beta:** My lovely Di  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Sasuke/Naruto, one-sided Naruto/Hinata, one-sided Sasuke/Sakura  
>Warnings: one-sided relationships, infidelity<br>**A/N:** 700th chapter didn't happen. Such amount of OOC can't exist but for those of you who believe that 700th chapter happened here is a possible, fan-made explanation why Sasuke and Naruto run away from their children and are such bad dads (considering the fact that their own childhood wasn't perfect and they should know better).  
>Short answer to questions raised by my beta: 1) I believe Sasuke lives in Konoha, just takes missions to redeem himself - how else is he supposed to have a family with Sakura? 2) I don't think Sakura is a housewife - just because we got a panel of her cleaning a room it doesn't mean she doesn't work as a med-ninja (it'd be a waste of her talents).<p>

**Messed up**

This time they have to be quick.

The skin under Naruto's lips is salty, a bit dirty – that's right, Sasuke hasn't had the chance yet to shower, he came from his another let-me-redeem-my-sins mission straight to Naruto's office. The body under his palms tired, but oh so willing, responding to every kiss and touch. In no time Naruto's head becomes dizzy, time isn't counted by seconds any more but by every shattered breath, every shattered moan Sasuke makes.

They're pulling apart only to take breath and then they kiss again, their hands in each other's pants, fumbling with the clasps and belts. They don't have time to do this right, they don't have time as almost always recently but it's still so good to have Sasuke next to him, still amazing to come only by Uchiha's skilled fingers and then suck him off, make that proud warrior break under his tongue and lips.

They barely have to chance to catch their breaths before they hear steps approaching Hokage's office. In only a matter of seconds Naruto looks as if he wasn't just making out with anyone and Sasuke decides to escape but not before whispering words Naruto loves and hates and the same time.

Naruto listens to Shikamaru, forcing himself to think about the job, to not _remember_, because this thing between him and Sasuke isn't something he's proud of. Yet, sometimes he thinks that Shikamaru knows, he always knows everything, he knows and he doesn't care; Shikamaru is always absent when Sasuke goes back from his missions and the amount of people who wants to talk with Hokage is always low during such days – just like today.

He wants to work longer but he's practically threw away from his office - "_You can't work so hard, Naruto_" - so he goes home... to the house where he lives, as slow as he can.

He hates going back to his house, he hates this, this farce his life has become, he hates it, hates it, hates it... But since he was a too big a coward back then, he should face consequences of his actions now.

"Naruto-kun! You're back early!" Hinata beams warmly at him and hugs him tight and everything Naruto can think of is how she's smaller than the body he loves to hug, how she doesn't smell right, how petite she is, how pathetic she has become with still calling him 'Naruto-kun', how he hates himself for thinking that, how... how...

_How she's not Sasuke_.

"Where are the kids?" he asks, pulling back when he can't stand being so close to her any more. "Are they sleeping?"

"Probably not, they went to bed a little before you came back, Naruto-kun." Hinata smiles at him, probably thinking how it's sweet of him to ask about their children and Naruto forces himself to smile back, to ask about her day, to pretend he cares about her as her husband, not as a friend.

He listens to her – '_my wife, it's my wife, Kami-sama, why did you let me...?_' - while eating supper, even manages to kiss her cheek – 'The _Hokage needs a wife, Naruto, he has to be an example to other people_' – and says he will go up to see if their children are sleeping.

He is ashamed of the way he almost run away from the kitchen, from Hinata's warm presence, her love to him. He truly liked her, he almost loved her when they were getting married, he thought it would be enough but then... _pale skin and dark eyes, fingers pressing into his hips so hard they leave marks, strong arms pinning him down, low voicemurmuring promises into his ear_...

Naruto doesn't go to see his kids. It's hard, harder and harder, to look at them and don't feel regret (_hatred too, naruto, don't forget about it_). Gods, he loves them, but they are a reminder of the biggest mistake of his life. He smiles sadly, thinking about how Sasuke is similar to him in this aspect too – there is a reason why he takes so many long missions, why he spends so little time with his family. Stupid Uchiha thought he had to have an heir, stupid Uzumaki thought he could make a girl happy, he could be a perfect Hokage.

They were both so, so stupid.

While he's passing his daughter's bedroom he hears a faint '_Daddy?_' but doesn't stop walking, going straight to his bedroom, deaf to the small voices calling his name.

He takes a long shower; Hinata knocks on the door once – there was a time when he didn't lock the door to the bathroom, when he thought they had a chance, when he wanted to_ give_ them a chance – but he pretends he doesn't hear her. If he let her in, she would want to take a shower with him and... gods, no, he can't look at her naked body anymore.

Naruto closes his eyes, letting water fall onto his face. There is something calming in just standing under hot water jet. Yet, this time it doesn't calm him; his head is a mess, thoughts are racing in every direction. He should finish this farce with Hinata already, tell everyone that he and Sasuke have been together for years now, that they love and care about each other, everything be damned...

But kids, fuck, his kids. He grew without parents and knows how it was like without them- he can't tear this family even more apart.

He could... just stop this thing with Sasuke (_no, you couldn't_), try to love Hinata again (_she's still a 16 years old girl with her prince charming, you won't ever be able to love her_), try to have better relations with his kids (_kids you don't really love no matter what you tell to yourself_), he could... He would...

Naruto yanks his hair, his breath shallow, eyes wet from tears. Why did he have to fuck up his life like this? He could wait for Sasuke, not try to be someone everyone wanted him to be. They would be happy now, living together.

He dries himself, Sasuke's words circling in his head. Should he...?

Of course he will. His heart would break if he didn't.

By the time Naruto emerges from the bathroom, Hinata is asleep. He dresses quickly and quietly and leaves her bedroom. He doesn't even need to pretend too hard that he heard a small weep coming from his wife.

There is someone waiting for him, waiting for him in their usual place and this thought makes him happy more than anything. He doesn't care that tomorrow at the office everyone will be looking at him as if they knew, that Shikamaru will only sigh and shake his head, that tomorrow he's supposed to visit the hospital and look at Sakura, Sakura whom he once loved and whose husband he now fucks every chance he gets(_he hasn't touched you in months, Sakura, but he can't stop touching me every time we meet_).

Sasuke's words weren't sweet, they don't cover Naruto like a warm blanket. It was only 'the same place and time' and for everyone else who could hear them, they would sound emotionless but Naruto saw the raw need in Sasuke's eyes, saw all these feelings the Uchiha still doesn't want to talk about but for him they spoke loudly enough about how much Sasuke missed him, how much he wants him...

And then Naruto is at their place, with Sasuke, and every negative thought leaves him, leaving only pure happiness in its wake. Later, after Naruto engraves his name on Sasuke's body with his lips, he may think about ending their relationship again, but he already knows it's no use: he won't stop the only thing that makes him truly happy, even if everyone starts hating him.

Such is the great Hokage that he is.


End file.
